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Strange Hesitations

by Starcrossed Losers

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1.
Two Beings 04:36
Two beings reaching for each other under cover of the night Two secrets speaking silence ever undiscovered by the light The hands that only meant to reach for an embrace Touch the tender place And pressing in the ever present thorn A flood of love unuttered gathering inside Spilling from their eyes And Falling down, the salt into the sore It stings but they keep coming back for more Two beings seeking shelter shield each other from the bitter wind To hearts disguise the hurt behind a mask, a plastic half-assed grin A mind that only winds up managing to clutch To love just like a crutch To keep the daisies propped up on the porch Just a stepping stone upon their weary way A game we like to play A drug to blunt the double edged sword It kills but we keep coming back for More love, more time One more chance, one more try To pick the broken pieces from the floor The spell out, hey now, who could ask for more Two beings long for freedom from the grip of conscience grumbling Two dreams bent down like knees all bloodied from their constant stumbling The hands that only meant to reach for an embrace Touch the tender place And pressing in the ever present thorn A flood of love unuttered gathering inside Spilling from their eyes And Falling down, the salt into the sore It stings but they keep coming back for more Oh and all the broken pieces on the floor They spell out, hey now, who could ask for more
2.
Well my bags are packed, I’m ready to go Brain moves fast but legs go slow And I ain’t afraid of what may come Bound to be better than where I was Still I got strange hesitations Strange hesitations Strange hesitations I can’t explain I wanna burn the bridge, I wanna cut the noose Rattle these chains ‘til I shake them loose But each time I reach for my prize I find it all tangled in barbed wire Oh I got strange hesitations Strange hesitations Strange hesitations I can’t explain Well it’s original sin, it’s the carnal urge With spiritual precision that I’m seeking to purge But the higher my angel soars, the louder my demon roars Oh I got strange hesitations Strange hesitations Strange hesitations I can’t explain Well now you know I never remember never being afraid Maybe worry’s the way my memories get made And are you thinking that it sounds absurd Well, you don’t have to take my word I know you got strange hesitations Strange hesitations Strange hesitations you can’t explain It’s like a shy child trying to sing Like a bride to be trying on her ring Like the whole wide world trying to make its way Waking from the dream of judgement day Hey hey we got strange hesitations Strange hesitations Strange hesitations we can’t explain
3.
Disappointed lovers sing the sweetest songs Broken hearted fathers commit the worst of wrongs Fancy takes a faded garland for her crown Before she bows to fortune, face down on the ground Oh what tragic silence fills these empty halls Dine amidst the violence, drink, forget the dawn You and I, we tried to muster from the coals Love in all her lustrous promises of old But we were clumsy suitors, spent before we spoke Idly climbing willows hung out o’re the brook Oh what tragic silence fills these empty halls Dine amidst the violence, drink, don’t think Drink, forget the dawn Oh what magic laughter in memory remains Ringing ever after Think, don’t drink Think, don’t drink Drink, don’t think about it, about it, without it now About it, about it, without it now
4.
This foolish heart, what a mess it is God damn these endless mixed messages I thought you were mine, all mine This fateful night, will it ever end So tired of should’ve, would’ve, never could’ve beens I thought it was time, high time I knew you were right But I’m still gonna fight you This hateful fight, will it ever end Your words spin round and round and round my heavy head I want you tonight, tonight Could it be real? I knew you were right But I’m still gonna fight you I knew you were right But I’m still gonna fight you
5.
Can You See 05:03
I was moving forward, well, that’s what I thought I sold off my last few possessions and bought Me a brand new mind that would never look behind Can you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night I cast off the phantoms my fathers have passed From the dawning of longing, the first to the last And to me, the sprouting seed of doubting See, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night Can you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night Oh my God, Is it over Oh my god is it true Oh my God, my beloved Is it really you But the saber a’flame at the gate of the garden Rekindles my shame and I pray God to pardon This greedy, needy heart has hardened Can’t you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night Remember the naked encounter with world The returning immersion in light long before The serpent whispered, why not more? Can’t you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night Can’t you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night Down to the dungeon of dreams left undreampt Left to dwindle in the half-lit haze of regret Neath a thousand shrouded moonless nights Can you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night I dug up the remnants of memories lost In the blood mixed with mud dried up under the cross With rusted spear and a cry of fear Can you see, can you see, can you see What I went through on that night
6.
So It Goes 03:15
Once again I reach the end of my rope And hopelessly I bend My bad knee and bow my hard head down And I whisper, Father, what now? And wouldn’t you like to know But honey that’s the only way to grow Reachin’ in the dark until you see a spark So it goes, so it goes Another fork stands in the course The flood of love or the fear of remorse A day will dawn when both paths are gone And I wonder which one we’ll be on And wouldn't you like to know But sadly that’s the only way to grow All you need to understand, is sad don’t mean bad So it goes so it goes I ain’t scared by lack of flair It just wouldn’t be real without the care I know what you mean by in love And it just ain’t what I’m thinkin’ of And wouldn’t you like to know? But baby that’s the only way to grow If on the way out of the shell, you cut yourself, well So it goes, so it goes If on the way out of the shell, you cut yourself, well So it goes, so it goes
7.
Jesus 04:29
Jesus, remember that night John Michael said, what if there’s no Jesus I remember it well, when John and I walked barefoot Away from Jesus Now the sun hangs low on my grievances And I know it soon will go down Please don’t leave us, Jesus now Jesus, the rumor round town You been mixing with the wrong crowd Unfit for Jesus Once my soul was at rest Beneath the stars and cedars I called on Jesus Now the sun hangs low on my grievances And I know it too will rise Please don’t leave us, Jesus Christ Jesus, Jesus, there’s just something about that name

credits

released October 25, 2019

ALL SONGS by Kyle Morgan

KYLE MORGAN: vocals/guitars/keys/percussion
BRIDGETTE ISABELLA SEMLER: vocals/percussion
JED BRESETTE: bass guitar, upright
DUSTIN LeVASSEUR: drums/percussion
TYLER LIENHARDT: fiddle
JIMMY DORITY: pump organ
MIKE DAVIDSON: percussion

produced by Kyle Morgan and Mike Davidson

recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mike Davidson at Plaid Dog Recording, Boston, MA

additional recording by Ryan Dieringer at Welter Weight, New Paltz, NY

artwork/design by Gracie Pizzo
photo by Ryan Dieringer

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Starcrossed Losers Queens, New York

Starcrossed Losers is a NYC-based indie/folk/rock band led by songwriter Kyle Morgan.

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